What do you call a food truck that becomes a brick and mortar establishment? Voltzy’s Root Beer Stand: where the food is outstanding and the insults are free.
Originally a trailer, I have no idea exactly when Voltzy (Rick Volz) opened in Moraine, but it’s a given he served an endless line of the General Motors rank and file for years until the plant closed in ‘08. Way back when, I discovered Voltzy’s while working at a body shop a few blocks from GM; as the resident “new guy” I was responsible for fetching lunch for the crew. At first, I questioned why anyone would actually pay for grilled cheese (something your mom usually makes in a hurry),it’s now obvious I simply hadn’t tried Voltzy’s Texas grilled cheese!
Voltzy’s is not an establishment for the easily offended; Voltzy lets it rip, on all topics, so beware. Voltzy himself makes certain to greet you on arrival, often with insult about your punctuality (or lack thereof…). This shtick continues until the moment you leave and is only surpassed by the food, which you will love, or you will hear about it until you do. The food is also not for the faint at heart; greasy diner food at its absolute finest, it’s truly a shame they’re only open from 11AM-2PM, Monday through Saturday. Voltzy takes his cooking very seriously; despite all the heckling, he is clearly passionate about his craft; so much so he’s even grabbed samples right out of the kitchen for my wife to try after she mentioned being a harsh “coleslaw critic” (She’s now a Voltzy’s convert).
Voltzy’s menu is an evolving beast; having frequented the stand for over twelve years, a lot of the staples (Grilled cheese and “The Voltzy”) remain, while some items come and go; so read the board and prepared for the latest and greatest concoction of street food deliciousness. The menu is also somewhat seasonal, soup in the winter, and as of last year, special hours with pizza (only) for dinner (which may or not make a comeback this year, fingers crossed). Menu prices are also affordable, and run the gamut; there’s a little of everything and it’s tough to go home hungry.
Because of the limited lunch hours and the fact I work across town, I’ve only been able to sample a small number of items, but each of them memorable. First off, I cannot pass up the fried pickles, they’re simply mandatory when having diner food. Voltzy’s rendition of the kosher delicacy are served as spears and fried until the breading is a hint on the crunchy side, which may or may not be your bag. Served with honey mustard, I can’t complain, although I admit I’m still a bit partial to tempura breading, but don’t tell Voltzy, I’ll never hear the end of it!
After fried pickles I have to try my second staple food group, a hot dog. This week’s special was the “Bang Bang Dog”; I saw the word bacon, I stopped reading and ordered one. The Bang Bang Dog is served with cabbage, bacon, onion, “Sweet Heat” (I have no idea what that is, but I assume some sort of mustard), and cheese; all piled high on a quarter pound hot dog. I usually shy away from cabbage, especially if it’s cooked, but not in this case, another stellar addition to the menu. With a little space left, you may want to squeeze in another favorite of mine, the Jalapeno Smoked Sausage; served with green peppers, onions, jalapenos, and dash of horse radish to kick it up another notch.
For folks looking for convenience food, I recommend the “Voltzy Slammer Wrap”; essentially a Voltzy burger and fries, all in one. The Slammer is a cheeseburger served with ham, provolone and American cheese, onions, pickles, more of that delicious horse radish, mayonnaise, sweet mustard, and a side of fries, all stuffed into a tortilla. Delicious.
Newcomers can’t go wrong with “The Volzty” (cheeseburger served with ham, onions, and “sauce”) or the “Betty Ann” (double cheeseburger served with onion, pickle, mayo, and double cheese). I’m also told that you MUST try a slaw dog; which are only served on Fridays and Saturdays. Voltzy also proudly serves Frostop root beer; top notch root beer from Columbus Ohio as it turns out.
It should also be known that Voltzy offers what is probably the most incredible food challenges ever wagered; a 14 pound cheese burger he calls the “Bill Clinton Divorce Finale”. If a contender completes the challenge, that lucky winner will walk away as the first person to have completed the challenge, and a $100 richer; to date, all challengers have walked away gorged and $40 dollars poorer.
Saturdays are usually quite busy, so if you’re pressed for time, or bringing a group, I recommend you call ahead. In fact, Voltzy might berate you for not calling ahead, even if you’re not in a hurry.